What is Home? My top 10 things that make me feel home

What do you think of when you hear the word home? Your house? Your address number? Where you grew up? Where you live now? Are these your first thoughts… or does the word home strike a chord deep in your heart?…  I picture sipping tea cuddled on a couch playing a game. I picture drinking lemonade on a porch catching up with old friends. I picture being surrounded by people I love. I picture laughing so hard it hurts. I picture feeling so free I can fly. But my soul yearns for the deeper feelings of love, peace, acceptance. When I think of Home, I think of what makes me feel warm inside my soul, welcomed and appreciated, at peace in the moment, loved right where I am, and known to the core of my being. For the past year and a half I have been trying to make a new home. Not a new house… A house is just the roof over your head. But what goes beyond that. What is at the core of HOME? Where do you find your significance? Who do you surround yourself with? We all probably have a few different ideas of what makes home… but here’s a few I came up with.

1. To be known and loved: We all want people to know us. So often I try to put on the facade of the person that I want people to know.  But it is in those deeper moments where people know the real me and still love me that I really feel at Home. Who knows you? Think about that relationship.

2. Safety and Security: Feeling safe is a big deal for people. But more than just circumstantially or physically safe. I want to be emotionally safe and secure. It reinforces my sense of confidence to feel secure in my “home”. Security brings comfort. What makes you feel safe and secure?

3. Peace and Clarity: When things are at peace you are able to think, act, and move freely. Peace brings clarity. Peace brings hope. Peace brings order. The opposite of peace makes me think chaos. When there is chaos, things are blurry. Tasks don’t get done. There are feelings of anxiety and stress rather than calm, cool, and collected. What are ways you can bring more peace to your life?

4. Praise and Encouragement: It is always nice to feel appreciated. But it is also nice to give encouragement. We all know how good it feels to be praised and how much energy it gives us to be encouraged. But I also want that impression to drive me to do the same for other people. I can be so quick to judge or compare when I know that appreciation and encouragement are the best gifts to give in the world.  Here applies the golden rule “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Who encourages you and who can you encourage?

5. To not just feel listened to, but heard: It is very important to feel like you have a voice and know that someone is listening.  When you feel like you have a say, you feel a sense of assurance in who you are.  Feeling listened to leads to depth.  Feeling listened to makes you feel safe. Feeling listened to opens doors to places you may have never even known existed.  Listening is a piece of a conversation that is too often forgotten or overlooked. And it is probably the most important part. Who can you make an effort to listen to better? Who listens to you well?

6. Authenticity, vulnerability, being able to feel: I think we all posses a little Superman in us.  We are able to put on the person we want people to know and hide the rest.  Well Clark Kent, its time to show the whole you.  If you want all the things above this to happen, then you have to be in authentic relationships.  The only way to do that is to be authentic and real.  That doesn’t mean you have to spill all your guts the first time you meet someone.  But be intentional and pick a few people to let in to your heart and soul. Let them know you.  Don’t let them only see your actions.  Let them know how you think and feel. Take off the cape. Just be you. Feeling at home will come with authentic relationships. Who knows you? Are you afraid to be vulnerable?

7. A place to try, risk, succeed, and fail: I am plagued by the fear of being afraid to fail. This leads to not putting myself in situations to try. Therefore, I have no way to fail… but I also have no way to succeed. I am just stuck. I have to be okay with enjoying the process of something without knowing the result. The Process is a place to learn and an opportunity for growth. I have to be in the moment rather than just be concerned with the end result. What are some new things you have been wanting to try?

8. Perspective, positivity, and celebrating the little things: Attitude and effort have everything to do with the way you live. Your perspective is how you think about something, how you look at something, and how you respond to something. So why not have a good attitude? Why not be positive? It doesn’t hurt.  You don’t have to be unrealistically positive, but we should all be looking to find the good in things, enjoy the moment, and appreciate where we are. If you get down or if you lose your way, change your perspective.  A great way to do this is to celebrate the little things along the way. Don’t just only recognize the big events or ultimatums, acknowledge and celebrate the little moments. It will make life more fun.  Where can you change your perspective?

9. Endurance, dedication, and hope: In life, you have to be filled with perseverance. There are ups and downs.  But you have to keep going. You have to have hope for goodness and blessing. And in the harder times, have the persistence to just keep going. You have to possess an attitude that doesn’t just quit when the going gets tough. In some things, quitting should not be an option.  Life is one step at a time.  When you lose hope you lose sight of the way and then get nowhere.  So make sure you hold on to hope if nothing else.  Think of a time where you showed endurance. How did that make you feel?

10. Laughter, fun, and being filled with Joy: Life is meant to be enjoyed.  So don’t take things so seriously that you can’t enjoy who you are, where you are, and the people around you. Find things to laugh about.  Bring joy to others.  Find ways to make the mundane things fun.  Your feeling of home will blossom if you are able to enjoy yourself regardless of your circumstance.  So smile, laugh, and let joy flow through you. What are things you do to have fun?

So what do all these things have to do with home?  Everything… When you feel home, you feel like yourself.  You feel in the groove.  You have found your niche. You feel connected to the source.  So connect. Find your should. Discover who you are. And live it out.