The “Aha Moment” is living in the moment

Is there an “AHA moment” in life? The past few days I have been asking myself over and over “what is my dream?” “what are my hopes?”… People have been asking me- “If you could do anything what would you do… If you could be anything what could you be… If you could create your dream job, what would it be?  Your dream house? Your dream location?…  I struggle with this… The one dream.  The EVERYTHING. I don’t think I struggle with this because I don’t dream. Because I do. I love to dream. Maybe it’s the fact that there are too many options, maybe there are too many thoughts running through my head, or maybe it is because the world and society is screaming at me that “the grass is greener on the other side”  so we are getting subliminal messages that infiltrate our mind that we never have enough… there’s always more… So am I stuck being overwhelmed with opportunity and freedom to choose? Maybe…

I wish the reason I don’t have my one perfect dream is because I am content day to day right where I am.  Wherever the Lord is taking me, whoever he is bringing in my path, or whatever daily tasks he brings me, I want to be thankful. But am I living content in the Lord while always seeking his plans and pursuing his purpose for me?  Or am I waiting for my “aha” moment where life all makes sense…  Sometimes I think I get blinded by that mindset of that one moment. But the truth is, I don’t believe there is one thing that is going to make you, or only one dream that can bring happiness… I believe our life is made of step by step decisions, choices, pursuits of following after our Lord.  So my dream… my “if I could do anything” is to live each day to the fullest, surrendering my life to him, so I can walk by faith, not by sight, and live out HIS kingdom on earth to glorify my Father in heaven.

But I still do have that longing for more… that feeling of something bigger, something greater… And I have to discern whether that particular moment that yearning is for greed, pride, and satisfaction for myself.  The longing can be a desire for more of God, a desire to experience him more, to love him more, to feel his presence more.  But I get caught up in the game of this world.  But you don’t win in the game of life.  Luckily when I have my eyes focused on the right thing, I know that in the end, the war is won. There will be battles along the way, but Christ is victorious.  But how do I live that out today.  When the world leaves people empty, myself included, how do we show a life of abundance that looks different than society.  How do we show love to a broken world?  How do we have faith when the world shows so much doubt?  We do not serve this world.  We are not held down by the measures of this world.   We live in this world, but not of this world.

Does that mean life will be perfect or easy?  Not in the slightest.  But I serve something bigger.  I live my life by a different standard.  That may look a little different than someone else’s life being made.  But I am okay with that.  God has already blessed me above and beyond more than I can ask or imagine.  Am I entitled to more?  No way.  Each thing, each opportunity, is just one more day I get the privilege to serve my God.

Sometimes I think I get caught up in the fear of being afraid to fail.  Of not being good enough.  Of committing to one thing and limiting out other options… I like to do a little bit of everything (multi-tasking is more of a disease for me).  But I can’t let my own fears or disillusions get in the way of something in my future.  I can’t let all my options limit my ability to choose. I can decide and go with something.  If it works, great, if not, then hopefully something can change.  Or I can fight to find joy even in the hard stuff.  But I do not want to be a person held back by fear.  I want to believe in the impossible, dream big, and make a difference.

So for now, I guess I will keep figuring it out one day at a time, one moment at a time. I choose life.  I choose love.  I choose joy.  I may not look like I have it made or all together on the outside… And I definitely don’t have it all together on the inside.  But I am figuring it out.  I will keep dreaming, but more importantly I will keep praying, and I believe the Lord will continue to guide my steps.

One of life’s most valuable lessons… it isn’t what you do that counts, it’s who you are.

So today, my if only is IF ONLY I GREW CLOSER TO MY FATHER EVERY DAY AND BELIEVED WHO HE CREATED ME TO BE, HOW WOULD I LIVE MY LIFE?

Proverbs 16:9 “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

What is your dream?

• Are you holding onto it so tightly that you are content with nothing else?

• Or is it a dream that is continually helping you move forward while still living in the present?

• Write out a couple things that are your goals to reach your dream.