Love with Limits

Love does not mean giving in to every request that comes your way. Requests from your friends may not always be best for your husband and children. Requests from your children may not always be best for them.

Today I witnessed a mom waiting in a check out line to purchase 2 carts full of household necessities for her family. She had 4 children in tow, a baby girl in her arms, a toddler and 2 older sons. Her older son, about 7 years old, was in charge of cart number 2 and her second son, maybe 5 years old, was requesting some candy. He actually asked with a respectful tone and even remembered to say “please”, but when his mom said “no, we will get a treat at the next stop”, he pouted and asked again. She kept her cool and reiterated what she had already explained. She also added that if he asked again, he would NOT be able to purchase a treat at the next stop. He hesitated and she reminded him that obedience included an obedient and respectful attitude and the decision was up to him. Obey quickly with a good attitude or receive no treat at all. He chose wisely. I complimented her on her excellent job of responding rather than reacting and we spoke for a bit about consistency in discipline.
She demonstrated LOVE WITH LIMITS!

A great reminder for parents and grandparents alike. Practice responding rather than reacting. Stay calm and speak kindly to your child. Encourage them by giving them choices and reminding them to obey quickly and choose wisely.

Training children includes training parents.
A few helpful hints to practice when your children are pushing your buttons.
1) Have a game plan before you get into a difficult situation. Strategies for discipline are best decided with both parents being on the same page, if possible.
2) Spend time getting to know and understand your children and their unique temperaments.
3) Be open to reading books that will help you be a better more consistent parent regarding child training and discipline.
4) Be accountable to someone for your parenting behavior. (your spouse or a close friend)
5) Be consistent, but offer grace.
6) Have options for how to handle situations that arise when you are not at home (understanding that you can’t always be prepared for everything).
7) Remember that every challenging situation is an opportunity to show LOVE with LIMITS!!
8) Every minute of time being the best parent you can be is worth it!!!!!

This will be an ongoing topic that I will come back to at least once a month to add to this list (In some form or another regarding parenting wisdom) but for now…..try practicing these steps until they become a new habit.

Feel free to comment or dialogue about specific situations you have encountered that you would want to share about. You can ask questions or share your strategy and whether or not it worked.