Lessons I’ve Learned as a Mom…
No one can ever tell you exactly what it will be like to become a Mom. I became a first-time Mom just over a year ago and it has been quite the ride. I’m not going to lie and say I have loved every minute of it; it is a challenging job, but the moments of growth and joy that I get to see in my daughter make those tough moments/days/weeks/months so worth it! Here are a few lessons that I have learned along the way…
- I am Not in Control
The meaning to this is two-fold. I have had to learn that I have been blessed with this child and ultimately she is God’s daughter. He has entrusted me with her for the days He has numbered for her and in that time I need to continue learning how to not hold on too tightly. He has specific plans for her life and I hope that I can guide her along the way to always be looking for His leading. The other meaning which has been much more of day-to-day experiences has been the control I have in feeding and sleeping. I knew that I always wanted to breastfeed because I was taught that that would be best for my child, and its FREE. So, that was our plan. However, when we went in for her 4 month appointment and found out that she was in the 2nd percentile in weight even though I was feeding her 8-10 times a day, the plan had to change. We still aren’t sure if my supply decreased in the stress of our move or I just have not been blessed with a steady flow; either way, I had to accept that this was something that I could not control. I tried my best to increase my supply with eating certain foods, being on a strict pumping schedule, trying to keep my stress levels down; but in the end, I had to do what was best for my daughter which was to supplement. The other way I have had to learn this has been with Sophie’s sleeping. She loved to sleep her first three months of life. Then we moved…and she decided that life was too exciting to nap. I wanted to be diligent to create good habits for her and have her learn how to get on a schedule. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen until after about 9 months of wearing her in the carrier for her to nap. And, this was after trying everything else for days, weeks, months. Throughout this time, my husband continued to remind me that I could only do so much, I couldn’t make her sleep. I will happily say at this point I believe that the consistent diligence (and many backaches and tears) were worth it – she now will nap! She still would rather be up for the excitement of life, but she usually will give me a break at some point during the day 🙂
2. Plan with Flexibility
I am a planner. I love making lists and making schedules and getting done what I have planned for each day. Sophie has taught me to plan with flexibility. Many times since becoming a mom, I have made plans knowing that she might have a rough day or might start teething or might want to play instead of sitting in the stroller to go on errands. I have learned that there is a balance between her schedule taking priority and still living life. Sometimes, I have had to deal with the consequences of maybe pushing her due to this. But, some of those days have been the best times of growth, fellowship, and blessings- the times that have pushed me out of my comfort zone and shown me that I am capable of more than I thought I was. And, these times have shown me that my little girl can be flexible, too and she can adapt and doesn’t need to be on a minute-by-minute schedule. I think as she grows, I will get more opportunities to show her the benefits of making plans, but that good things can also come out of life not going exactly according to a plan.
3. Learn Your Child
In many ways, Sophie is like me; in many other ways, she is very different from me. I have had to spend time and effort to learn who she is and not make her into who I think she is or who I think she should be; and, accept the things that are maybe different than I expected them to be. For example, up until this point, Sophie has been a very independent “player”. This hasn’t always been easy for me when I try to engage or play with her and she would rather do her own thing. Now, this might be her personality or it might just be a phase. Either way, I have had to learn to not make it personal, keep being present and available, and enjoy every second when she does want to play with me, which continues to be more and more as she develops and grows!
I look forward to learning more about myself as a Mom, about how to raise and guide my daughter, and about how to adapt to life with two under 2 🙂
What have been your most significant lessons learned as a parent?
