“I’m Dating Someone Even Though I’m Married” Article Review

The other day, I was browsing through my Facebook newsfeed when an article caught my eye. It was titled, “I’m Dating Someone Even Though I’m Married”. I quickly passed it, assuming that it was exactly what it sounded like as another sad example of the marriage culture our world is continuing to develop today. But, something about it made me think that maybe there was more to it than the title indicated. Although still skeptical about what the article had to say, I decided to read it. I began, hoping that the article was going to surprise me and not disappoint me. I read the first two paragraphs…

“She’s an incredible girl. She’s beautiful, smart, cunning, strong, and has an immensely strong faith in God. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is. I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes she will visit me at work unannounced, make me an incredible lunch, or even surprise me with something she personally baked. I can’t believe how lucky I am to be dating someone even though I am married. I encourage you to try it and see what it can do for your life.”

At this point in the article, I was thinking that maybe he was talking about his daughter and the rest of the article would be about how much he loved being a dad. So, I kept reading. The next line was my answer…

“Oh! Did I mention the woman I am dating is my wife? What did you expect?”

The rest of the article was the very pleasant surprise I was hoping for, but did not really expect at the start…

“Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean your dating life should end.

I need to continue to date my wife even after I marry her. Pursuing my wife shouldn’t stop just because we both said, “I do.” Way too many times do I see relationships stop growing because people stop taking the initiative to pursue one another.

Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.

When it comes to any relationship, communication and the action of constant pursuit is key. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to pursue them whole-heartedly.

I encourage you to date your spouse, pursue them whole-heartedly, and understand that dating shouldn’t end just because you said, ‘I do.'”

This concept seems to have become so foreign in our culture. Kids are added to the mix, work gets stressful, and schedules become jam packed, leaving little or no time to “date” your spouse. However, I completely agree with this man and his words stating the importance of dating your spouse. Don’t believe the lie that there is nothing new to learn about your spouse. Take that time to make them feel special, make them feel like the priority they were when you were on your dating pursuit. Remember how it felt when you put your all into your dating relationship. Remember how you felt when you put your now spouse as a top priority. And, remember what that did for your relationship- the joys, the laughter, and how much fun dating was. And, believe that just a few dates, and the change toward a whole-hearted pursuit, can transform your marriage in ways you never imagined.

“Dating is a time where you get to learn about someone in a special and unique way. Why would you want that to ever stop? It shouldn’t. Those butterflies you got on the first date shouldn’t stop just because the years have passed. Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship.”

Here are just a few, fun ideas of what to do for dates…

1. Go on a hike

2. Go get frozen yogurt or your favorite dessert

3. Make dinner together. Or, go out to one of your favorite restaurants or a new place that you both keep talking about (but haven’t made the time to go). Go to dinner without an agenda so that after you finish eating, you can sit and talk, without rushing off to the next event

4. Join an exercise class together, or commit to an at home exercise program- Afterwards, have a set time to be together for some quality time.

5. Fulfill items on your bucket list

For more creative date ideas, check out the blog www.TheDatingDivas.com. Part of their mission includes…

“We all know that marriage can become TOO comfortable {a.k.a. routine} and dating your amazing spouse – the way you did when first falling in love… is the sure-fire way to keep that SPARK in marriage!  We are sharing with you the SECRETS to our success! We hope that you will find ideas that keep your marriage healthy, happy, and full of love!

In a nutshell, each Monday the Divas will offer an awesome date already completely planned for your upcoming weekend! {Aw geez… you’re totally welcome!} Throughout the rest of the week we’ll also post quick & easy ideas to serve your spouse, unforgettable family outings and activities with the kids, intimate moment ideas to spice things up in that room, and fun “romance” crafts to boot! There is definitely something for every couple!”

They have great ideas that will definitely help you to continually date your spouse. This idea may begin that pursuit that you have been longing for ever since you got married or get you and your spouse out of a dating rut. Or, maybe it will help you in an area where you have been struggling with the push and pulls of everyday life with a busy schedule, causing you to not make your spouse a priority. Either way, make that time for your spouse- It will be worth every second!!