Grace for Growth
My sweet Sophie has taken being TWO very seriously. It has seemed as if the moment she turned two, she flipped a switch. She still has her adorable, tender moments especially when it comes to her little brother. However, when she doesn’t get something that she wants she makes it very known.
A month or so ago, she started hitting. Where she learned that hitting is something you even do when you’re frustrated, I have no idea. But, my hubby and I decided hitting is a non-negotiable in terms of discipline. So, when she hits, she loses a toy or a “friend” from her stash of princesses or stuffed animals. They go up somewhere where she can see whatever she has lost and does not get it for the rest of the day.
In the last week, she has given me a run for my money. There have been a lot of timeouts and some friends lost for multiple reasons. “Consistency is Key” is what I heard before having kids and now especially when asking for advice or researching for wisdom for a strong-willed child. So that is always on my mind – Be consistent! And, quite often, with my husband’s busy schedule majority the disciplining falls on my plate so I feel a lot of the pressure to keep that consistency.
Yesterday, Sophie got frustrated about something and, in the midst of her meltdown, she hit me. As a result, she lost her Anna doll right before nap time. Usually, she would lose the friend until the next morning. But, as I was feeling super discouraged, I realized that we have not been seeing results or growth in the disciplining. Yes, she’s two and maybe we won’t see huge growth until she gets older but I decided to try something new. When she woke up from her nap, I told her for the next few hours, she would have the opportunity to get Anna back if she showed me kindness and obedience before bedtime. She really responded to this. She wasn’t perfect, of course, I mean she’s two. But, having something to work towards resonated with her in a way that I haven’t seen before. All that to say, she got Anna back and she was so happy and seemed very proud that her good behavior was rewarded. And, I was so happy to give her the opportunity for grace. It gave me a peace that has not been a part of our disciplining in quite some time. I didn’t know that it would be successful, but giving her the opportunity to be rewarded for good behavior instead of the continuous disciplining was worth the try!
So, I wanted to encourage any of you who are frustrated or feeling defeated or not seeing growth in your disciplining, try something new. It may work, it may not. But, without trying new things, it may be hard to see growth. Or, as your kids grow, they will learn and change, and I would think that some aspects of disciplining have to adjust with them. Don’t be afraid to try new things!
What disciplining tactics have worked in your family? Have you had to adjust consequences as your children grow or with each new phase that comes with different ages?
