Around the Table: Engaging our Kids
Is dinner chaos at your house? Are you overwhelmed with just trying to get your kids to finish their vegetables and not get food all over the house? Are the kids just on a race to get down to do something else? How can you engage with your kids at the dinner table where they are enjoying themselves, asking questions, talking about their day, really getting some quality family time?
We were at a friends for dinner a little while back and they had their kids engage in a little competition. All the kids had to come up with questions to ask me and my husband. The questions could be about anything… our day, what we were doing that weekend, what sports we like to play, what our favorite color is. Then at the end of the dinner, whoever asked the best question got to have dessert first. It was so fun!!! Not only were the kids engaged in conversation the whole dinner, they were very talkative with visitors, and they were having fun! It was a great way to keep everyone entertained. Kids love a little competition, and of course they love dessert! You could do this with a number of things, passing a chore off, not doing the dishes, who gets to pick the show to watch. I loved witnessing the family have a lot of fun together and feel like the kids were even enjoying having us over. And I don’t think they just do this with guests, I think they are always thinking of ways to create conversation at the table. And it is getting their kids practicing talking to adults in everyday normal conversation. The parents are asking the questions for the kids, the kids are doing the thinking, the creating, and the engaging.
Conversation starters/activities at the table
- Make it a competition somehow of who can ask the best question
- Have a question jar filled with questions that you can pick one for each dinner
- Rotate which kid gets to make up a story
- Have your kids help cook, then they are taking ownership of the meal
- Don’t always make things about getting dessert, but it can be a great way! Small treats are fun! Or take them out for treats later in the week if they sit at the table all week long.
- Backwards night with dessert first
- Bring dice to the table. Have the kids roll the dice and that is how many bites they have to eat. Keep passing the dice around the table and whoever finishes their veggies first wins.
- Play a guessing game with whats hidden or missing at the table. Whoever guesses wins.
- Question game:
- Kids test the adults with fun questions like these:
- What is my favorite class?
- What do I usually play at recess?
- Who are my two favorite friends at school?
- What is my favorite TV show?
- Now the Adults get to test the kids too with questions:
- Where was I born?
- What was my favorite subject in school?
- What sports did I play when I was a kid?
- What cities have I lived in?
- Kids test the adults with fun questions like these:
- Light candles
- Do a special awards night every month for all members of the family for fun things, recognize personality traits, and character building
- Have date night
- Serve water in special cups
Tips:
- Try not to let the kids leave the table until meal is done
- Don’t push too much. Then they will only resent the time together.
- Don’t always use rewards. Help them enjoy the meal together
- Try not to be a short order cook
- Give your kid at least something they like with the meal if you are trying to expand their taste
- Have fun!
Many parenting websites suggest that kids who eat meals with parents have better vocabularies, eat more fruits and vegetables, girls are less likely to develop eating disorders, and kids get better grades. “Meals provide a backbone for family life,” says Ellyn Satter, author of Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family. They also offer children enormous security.”
So take the time to make meal time fun. Even if it is chaos, live in that chaos, and create an extraordinary experience.