A Mom’s Reflection…Transformations
One minute a child, fully dependent, the next minute a fully independent young adult. One minute all training and teaching is my responsibility and privilege, the next minute my mind and heart and soul are being filled with bits of wisdom and insight from the life of my adult children. The child to adult transition happens without a precise timetable, plan or maximum effort on my part, but I observe the unintentional movement from receiver to giver. Every person has a different timetable, dependent on their natural temperament combined with life circumstances. Often it is a gradual flow that occurs when a child moves away from home, starts a first job, goes off to college or has an opportunity to travel out of the country to study or go on a mission trip, but sometimes it happens at a specific moment in time because of an unexpected tragedy, a bad decision, significant life event or family crisis.
As a mom of four daughters, I have had the blessing of healthy, peaceful, joy-filled relationships with my daughters. We have had some but not too many difficult arguments, and not too much drama. We have shared joys and sorrows. We have laughed together and cried together. We have prayed together and worshipped together. Now that they are all adults and all married, I try to practice restraint and offer advice only when asked. It is challenging at times to keep silent but the benefits are that they get to learn by experience the lessons that will develop character and help them be stronger women. I have encouraged them as sisters to always work out their disagreements and difficulties between themselves. I also advise them to keep the challenges in their relationships with their husbands respectfully private, sharing just as much as is needed to get and give advice to one another.
I am overflowing with gratitude that each one of them invites me into their lives with open arms and open hearts. I have many opportunities to teach, mentor, counsel and give advice because we have worked at sharing our lives together and we have all become deep intimate friends. I did not chose this place of honor, God gave me these four beautiful gifts and I committed my heart, my time, and my love to being their mom. I chose to love as Christ loves me-sacrificially serving, training, teaching, counseling, guiding and disciplining them. I established guidelines and boundaries. I was willing to take risks and walk on unfamiliar paths that often went against the normal permissive parenting style of those around me. I followed my heart and prayed a lot and when incredibly challenging seasons came, I committed my heart, tried my best and trusted God for the rest. He has done a great work. I am beyond blessed!
Is there something in your life that you have worked hard for and committed your time to that has actually become a bigger blessing to your life than you ever imagined it would?
